Thursday, July 31, 2014

Compassion Drives Success

Central to success in an organization is successful communication. Compassionate communication relies heavily on understanding communication dynamics, listening skills,  and intention.

— Tony Belak


Compassionate action involves working with ourselves
as much as working with others.
— Pema Chodron

How you think and act can determine relational success, failure, or something in between: that place called mediocrity where we settle for what we get. Some behaviors have been identified with limiting success, and these habits can be contagious with colleagues and within an organization. When we display negative behaviors, we reinforce mediocrity, making it acceptable.It cannot be acceptable to a vibrant and competitive workforce and we should strive to abstain from being impatient with others, being easily distracted, making tasks more important than people, embracing the dysfunctional culture, being disorganized, accepting discouragement, and putting IQ (intellectual intelligence) over EQ (emotional intelligence).

We each have a unique field of experiences and exposures to the education life provides to us. When we use a word, we have a precise definition in mind — but the listener may have a different interpretation or understanding. That does not mean the listener failed to understand: only that the understanding was not mutual. We must remember that the communication you provide to this listener is, in the end, what they heard, not what you said. There are two emotional factors that affect most communications: 1) how you feel about the other person’s ideas and, 2) what you believe the other person feels about your ideas.

Focusing on the goal of what you intend to say will lead to success when the effective communication unfolds as anticipated. Often, there are distractions to divert our energy and attention. Interpersonal conflict can distract the most focused individual, depriving them of the necessary elements for success and healthy relationships — communication, recognition, and trust. When we believe others view us negatively or in a false light, we struggle as if to breathe in nourishing air from a toxic environment. 

The Quality of Our Interactions

If collaboration is a sharing of responsibilities and resources to achieve common goals, then the extent and quality of those interactions should meet participant expectations. Often, they don’t. The shared reality of people who work together depends on the nature of their relationships, the organizational culture in which they find themselves, and the degree of cooperation, communication, solidarity, and collaboration among them. When we express feelings about ourselves, others, the situation we are currently in, or anything else, a new level of dialogue is opened and we can exchange and share authentic relationship information that strengthens and builds trust.

The primary elements of emotional intelligence begin with self — such as developing self- awareness with an ability to regulate behavior and thoughts to effectively deal with setbacks. These are necessary skills for better empathetic reactions to others and for developing healthy relationships. Being a team member is important. Because most work is done in project teams learn how to handle constructive discontent, how to motivate others, and how to get along. This may mean resonating with others and tuning in to their feelings.

Proponents of Six Sigma view it as the scientific framework for the excellence of the external, which is essential for not accepting mediocrity as one’s best. What completes the quest for total excellence is the pursuit of the excellence of the internal: “Actions and decisions from a higher level of consciousness will be far more conducive not only to our own well-being but also be in the best interest of the organization and society.” (Pradeep B. Deshpande, Professor Emeritus of Chemical Engineering, University of Louisville, and President, Six Sigma and Advanced Controls, Inc.) This higher consciousness can be achieved through meditation, a process of mindfulness where your attention is focused and your breathing deliberate. “Excellence of the internal through meditation accomplishes compassion in individuals and the link to compassion presents an enormous opportunity for all organizations to improve performance at all levels even without six sigma programs in place." 

Compassion and Emotional Intelligence

Compassion addresses the suffering of others and is regarded as a fundamental part of human love and the keystone to greater social interconnection and humanism, which are foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood. Compassion is seen as a strong virtue in numerous philosophies and is considered in almost all major religious traditions as among the greatest of virtues. When we practice the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have done unto you) we are not compassionate. We must do unto others as they would have done unto them in order for compassion to be more fully realized.

A recent survey of executives by the American Management Association indicates that workers often lack communication, collaboration, critical thinking, and creative skills. We teach technical skills but it is not IQ that employers seek — it is EQ, because high EQ’s are a better predictor of success and performance than high IQ’s. Emotional Intelligence can be boosted through meditation, mindfulness, caring, and compassion: and these are all learned skills.

Compassion in the workplace is essential for durable, satisfying, and rewarding relationships. It’s achieved through productive communication, understanding, and respect — qualities not found in a mediocre workplace. Compassion contains a strong emotional component, and parties should be able to share their expectations for one another, bargain for expected behaviors, and openly acknowledge mutual respect and dignity for self and others.

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The opinions expressed in this commentary are the author's and do not necessarily reflect the views of the International Center for Compassionate Organizations.

Tony Belak, JD is the Associate Director of the International Center for Compassionate Organizations and the Ombuds at the University of Louisville in Louisville, Kentucky USA

Copyright © 2014 by Tony Belak • Published with permission.